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Memories in Every Drawer: Sorting Through a Loved One's Belongings

Writer's picture: eliezermeliezerm

The loss of a loved one leaves an everlasting mark on our hearts, and the process of grief is as unique as the relationship we shared. One of the most challenging parts of this journey is often the task of sorting through and deciding what to do with their belongings. It's a process that can feel overwhelmingly emotional, deeply personal, and at times, almost impossible to face.



Memories are Heavy


Every object holds a story, a memory, a piece of the person we've lost. All their hoodies hanging in the closet, the sports trophies from their younger years, or the drawer full of half-finished crossword puzzles – each item is a tangible connection to the life that was lived and the person we miss.


It's completely normal to feel a surge of emotions when you begin this process. You might find yourself laughing at a funny t-shirt one moment and sobbing over a handwritten note the next. Allow yourself to feel these emotions fully. There's no right or wrong way to react.


Taking Your Time


Remember, there's no set timeline for when you "should" tackle this task. Some people find comfort in sorting through belongings soon after their loss, while others need months or even years before they feel ready. Listen to yourself and move at a pace that feels right for you.


If you do decide to start, consider taking it slow. Maybe begin with a single drawer or a small box. Give yourself permission to stop if it becomes too overwhelming. This isn't a race, and your emotional wellbeing should always come first.


Honouring Their Memory


As you sort through items, think about ways to honour your loved one's memory:


  • Consider creating a memory box with a few special items that hold particular significance.

  • Donate clothes or books to causes they cared about.

  • Repurpose a favourite piece of furniture or jewelry in a way that keeps it in your daily life.


Remember, keeping everything isn't always possible or necessary. Choosing a few meaningful items to hold onto doesn't diminish your love or your memories.


Asking for Support


This process can be incredibly draining, both emotionally and physically. Don't hesitate to ask for help. Whether it's a family member, a close friend, or a professional organizer who specializes in these sensitive situations, having support can make a world of difference.


Sometimes, just having someone else in the room can provide comfort and help you stay grounded when emotions run high.



Be Gentle with Yourself


As you navigate this difficult task, be kind to yourself. There may be days when you make progress, and days when opening a single box feels impossible. Both are okay. Grief doesn't follow a straight line. 


If you find yourself struggling, remember that seeking professional support is always an option. A grief counsellor can provide strategies to cope with the emotions that arise during this process and offer a safe space to work through your feelings.


The is No "Right" Way


Sorting through a loved one's belongings is one of the most tangible ways we process our loss. It's a chance to revisit memories, to laugh, to cry, and to honour the life that touched ours so deeply. While it may be one of the hardest things you'll do, it can also be a powerful step in carrying your grief forward. 


Remember, there's no "right" way to do this. Trust yourself, be patient with your emotions, and know that it's okay to hold on to the things that matter most to you. Your love for them isn't contained in objects – it lives on in your heart, in your memories, and in the way their life continues to shape yours.

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