Question 1

How do I know if I need grief counselling?

Accepted Answer

There's no perfect answer because grief shows up differently for everyone.

You might find yourself here if you're feeling stuck in your sadness, anger, or confusion after a loss. Maybe you're going through the motions of daily life but feeling disconnected from yourself or others.

Here's what I want you to know: you don't have to wait until you're "bad enough" to reach out. If you're wondering whether counselling might help, that curiosity itself is worth exploring. You deserve support that gets the full picture of who you are and what you're going through.

Question 2

How long will I need counselling?

Accepted Answer

I wish I could give you a neat timeline, but grief doesn't work that way.

Some people find relief and new ways of coping in a few months. Others benefit from longer support as they work through complex losses. Most people start feeling some shift in how they're managing within the first few sessions.

We'll check in regularly about how things are feeling for you, and you're always in charge of when you're ready to space out sessions or take a break.

Question 3

What happens in the first session with a Grief Counsellor?

Accepted Answer

The first session is mostly about getting to know each other and helping you feel comfortable.

I'll ask about what brought you to therapy and what you're hoping for from our work together. We'll talk a bit about your loss and get an overall picture of your life. You don't have to share everything right away.

Most importantly, this session is for you to get a feel for whether we might be a good match.

Question 4

What are your rates?

Accepted Answer

Initial & Subsequent Individual Counselling Session (50 min) $165
Initial & Subsequent Couples Counselling Session (50 min) $185

Payment will be processed at the time of your session and a receipt will be provided. Receipts can be submitted to extended health benefits if you have coverage for counselling by a Registered Social Worker (RSW).

Question 5

What's your cancellation policy?

Accepted Answer

We hope to offer you the best service. Please provide 24 hours notice if you need to cancel or reschedule your appointment. Any appointment that is cancelled with less than 24 hours notice will be subject to the full session fee.

Question 6

What does a grief counsellor actually do?

Accepted Answer

Think of me as someone who walks alongside you during one of life's most difficult experiences.

I'm here to listen without judgment to whatever you're carrying. Together, we'll explore what grief looks like for you, because it's different for everyone. I'll offer you tools and ways of thinking that might help, but you get to decide what feels useful.

Most importantly, I'm here to remind you that your grief is valid, your feelings make sense, and you don't have to figure this out alone.

Question 7

Is grief counselling different from regular therapy?

Accepted Answer

Yes and no. Grief counselling uses many of the same skills and approaches as other therapy, but it's focused on the specific experience of loss.

In grief counselling, we spend time understanding what you've lost and how that loss ripples through your life. We also pay special attention to how grief shows up in your body, your daily routines, and your relationships.

The goal isn't to "get over" your grief but to find ways to live with it that feel manageable and meaningful.

Question 8

Will grief counselling actually help?

Accepted Answer

Yes, it can make a real difference, though not in the way some people expect.

Grief counselling won't take your pain away or bring back what you've lost. What it can do is help you feel less isolated in your grief and give you tools for the hardest moments. Research shows that grief counselling helps people process their emotions and develop healthy coping strategies.

The relationship you build with your therapist matters a lot. When you feel truly seen and understood, that connection itself becomes part of the healing.

Question 9

Can online therapy help with grief?

Accepted Answer

Absolutely. Online grief therapy can be just as effective as in-person sessions for many people.

The advantage is you can access support from your own space, which some people find comforting when they're grieving. You also have more options for finding a therapist who understands your community.

The most important thing is that you feel connected to your therapist and comfortable sharing. If online feels right for you, it can be a powerful way to get support through your grief.

Question 10

Why does grief feel so heavy?

Accepted Answer

Grief feels heavy because it is heavy. You're carrying the full weight of love with nowhere to put it. When someone important to you dies or when you experience a significant loss, your nervous system goes into overdrive trying to process something that feels impossible to understand.

This heaviness often shows up in your body as:
Exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix
A literal feeling of weight on your chest or shoulders
Moving through the world like you're underwater
Brain fog that makes simple tasks feel overwhelming

Your body is doing exactly what it's supposed to do. It's trying to protect you while simultaneously processing one of life's most challenging experiences.

Question 11

Can grief cause physical pain or sickness?

Accepted Answer

Yes, grief absolutely shows up in your body. The phrase "broken heart" isn't just poetic language - it's a real physical experience. Your immune system can weaken, you might get headaches more often, or find yourself getting sick more easily.

Common physical symptoms include:
Chest tightness or pain
Digestive issues
Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
Muscle tension and aches
Feeling dizzy or unsteady

Your mind and body are connected, and grief impacts both. This isn't weakness; it's your system responding to profound change and stress.

Question 12

How long does grief usually last?

Accepted Answer

Here's what I want you to know: grief doesn't have an expiration date. The idea that you should "get over it" in a certain timeframe is not only unrealistic, it's harmful. Grief changes, but it doesn't disappear.

Different types of losses have different rhythms:
Sudden losses often bring intense shock that can take months or years to fully process
Anticipated losses might involve grief that begins before the actual loss occurs
Disenfranchised losses (relationships others didn't recognize or understand) can take longer to process because they're less supported

What changes over time isn't the presence of grief, but your relationship with it. The sharp edges soften. The frequency of intense waves decreases. You learn to carry it differently.

Question 13

Why do I still feel sad years after a loss?

Accepted Answer

Because love doesn't die when someone does. Your sadness years later isn't a sign that you're "not healing properly" - it's evidence of how much that person or relationship meant to you.

Grief in the long term often looks like:
Missing them during holidays, birthdays, or special moments
Wishing you could share good news with them
Feeling their absence during milestones
Random moments when a memory hits you unexpectedly

This ongoing sadness can coexist with joy, new relationships, and a full life. They're not mutually exclusive.

Question 14

Why do anniversaries and birthdays feel so painful?

Accepted Answer

Anniversary reactions are your heart's way of remembering. These dates are loaded with memory and meaning, and your body often remembers even when your mind doesn't immediately connect the dots.

During these times, you might experience:
Increased sadness or anxiety in the days leading up to the date
Physical symptoms similar to when the loss first occurred
Vivid dreams or memories
Feeling like you're grieving "all over again"

Planning for these dates can help. Some people create rituals, others prefer distraction. There's no right approach, only what feels right for you.

Question 15

Is it normal to feel angry or guilty after someone dies?

Accepted Answer

Anger and guilt are completely normal parts of grief, even though they can feel shocking when they show up. You might be angry at the person who died for leaving you, at God or the universe for allowing it to happen, at yourself for things said or unsaid, or at others who still have what you've lost.

Guilt often sounds like:
"If only I had..."
"I should have done more"
"What if I had said something different?"
"I don't deserve to be happy when they're gone"

These feelings don't make you a bad person. They make you human. Working through anger and guilt often involves learning to express your feelings and possibly looking at making amends.

Question 16

Why do I feel numb instead of sad?

Accepted Answer

Numbness is your nervous system's way of protecting you from overwhelming emotions. It's like an emotional circuit breaker that kicks in when the system is overloaded. This doesn't mean you don't care or that you're grieving "wrong."

Numbness might show up as:
Feeling disconnected from your emotions
Going through the motions without really feeling present
Inability to cry even when you want to
Feeling like you're watching your life from the outside

This protection mechanism usually loosens gradually as your system determines it's safe to feel more. Be patient with yourself during this time.

Question 17

What are the stages of grief and do they really happen in order?

Accepted Answer

The "five stages of grief" (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) were originally developed to help terminally ill patients understand their own dying process - not to describe how people grieve losses. While these emotions are common in grief, they don't happen in order, and you won't necessarily experience all of them.

Your grief might look more like:
Moving back and forth between different emotions
Experiencing multiple feelings at the same time
Having emotions that aren't captured by the traditional stages
Feeling like you're "going backwards" when intense emotions return

There's no timeline, no checklist, and no end date from grief. Your experience is valid exactly as it is.

Question 18

What's the difference between grief and depression?

Accepted Answer

This is one of the most important questions people ask, and the line can sometimes feel blurry. Grief and depression can coexist, but they're different experiences.

Grief typically:
Comes in waves with good moments mixed in
Is connected to your specific loss
Includes loving memories alongside the pain
Allows for moments of connection and joy
Usually maintains your sense of self-worth

Depression typically:
Feels more constant and pervasive
Includes feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness
Makes it hard to imagine feeling better
Can make everything feel meaningless

If you're concerned about depression, please reach out for support. You can get help with grief or depression.

Question 19

How do I know if my grief is "normal" or complicated?

Accepted Answer

First, let's throw out the word "normal." Your grief is yours, shaped by your unique relationship with loss, your cultural background, your support system, and countless other factors.

That said, you might benefit from additional support if:
Your grief feels stuck or unchanged after many months
You're having thoughts of harming yourself
You're unable to function in basic daily activities for extended periods
You're using substances to cope in ways that concern you
You feel completely isolated and unable to connect with others
Your grief feels too big to carry alone

You can get support for however your grief is expressed.

Question 20

How do I get through the first year after a loss?

Accepted Answer

The first year feels impossible because it might be the hardest. You're experiencing every holiday, season, and milestone for the first time without them. Your nervous system is still in shock, and you're learning a completely new way of being in the world.

Here's what helps during this crucial time:

Create micro-routines that anchor your days. This might look like:
Having the same breakfast each morning
Taking a short walk at the same time daily
Checking in with one person regularly
Setting a gentle bedtime routine

Plan for the "firsts" before they arrive:
First birthday without them
First holiday season
First anniversary of their death
First major life event they'll miss

You don't have to have elaborate plans. Sometimes the plan is simply: "I will ask my sister to be with me that day" or "I will give myself permission to stay in bed if I need to."

For some, the second, third, or 12th year is more difficult. Life is passing and your realizing how much time your person is not here. There is grief support for wherever you find yourself.

Frequently Asked Questions

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