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I’m Not Crying, You’re Crying! Do I Need Grief Counselling?

Writer's picture: eliezermeliezerm

There are many reasons why someone may reach out for support. Your grief and loss is unique to you and only you can decide for yourself if counselling is right for you. Read through these signs to help you decide what you may be needing during this time. 



Box of tissues with a yellow background


1. I’m Overwhelmed

Do you feel like you’re being buried or drowning under something? That’s the literal definition of overwhelm. People often describe their grief as a huge wave coming over them that they have no control over. This may look like being an emotional mess (read: my eyes are puffy from crying and I haven’t left my bed in days) or having grief brain (read: the simplest task like brushing my teeth is too much today). Counselling may be a place to talk about what is really happening to you so you can manage it. 


2. I’m Confused

You’ve been able to cope with loss before but this feels like something totally different. It’s like you woke up one day and everyone else is living their normal life but you’ve shifted into another dimension. Grief support may help you navigate some big questions: 


“Why is this happening?”

“Who am I now?”

“How long will I feel this way?”


3. I Feel So Guilty

After a loss, many people will think about what could have been different. These reflections are such a natural part of our grief. If feelings of regret and guilt are too heavy and there is no place to express it, we start to feel stuck without any pathways to move forward. Counselling is a place to get tools to express what you’ve been holding onto. 


4. I Can’t Cope Right Now

Your normal coping strategies are not working. What was previously really fun is now kinda blah. You are spending more time numbing whatever your body and mind are feeling right now. You may need to speak with a Counsellor about shifting your ways of coping to work for your new situation. 


5. I Need to Feel Heard

You just need someone who has training in how to listen without judgment and shame. We all need those people sometimes. It gives up space to be totally open about what we’re really thinking and feeling. Your grief and loss is unique to you and counselling support should be tailored to you as well.

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We are settlers occupying the stolen, unceded, ancestral territories of the xʷməθkwəy̓əm (Musqueam), Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish), Səl̓ílwətaʔ/Selilwitulh (Tsleil-Waututh), and S’ólh Téméxw (Stó:lō) peoples. We are committed to understanding the ongoing grief of colonization and decolonizing our practices in and out of the counselling room. 

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