Grieving Together: Finding Strength in Community After Tragedy

In the wake of the devastating incident at the Lapu Lapu Festival in Vancouver on April 26, 2025, our community is searching for ways to process our collective grief. This post offers guidance on how we can support one another during this difficult time.

The Weight of Collective Grief

When tragedy hits a community, the grief we experience transcends individual pain. It becomes a shared burden. The recent events at the Filipino Lapu Lapu Festival have left many of us feeling shocked, devastated, searching for meaning, and asking the question why?

Collective grief is powerful. It reminds us that we are not alone in our pain. It creates spaces where vulnerability becomes strength, where tears shed together turn into opportunities of healing.

A Community Shaken

The evening of April 26th started like any other. I was in the car, riding home from a family gathering, looking at the news on my phone of an "incident" in Vancouver. Few details, just enough to feel uneasy.

By the time I reached home, my phone was already flooding with notifications. Messages from friends and family across the globe, all asking the same question: "Were you there? Are you safe?" Though celebrating my Filipino heritage has always been central to my identity, I hadn't attended the festival that day.

As the night progressed and more details emerged, the true magnitude of the tragedy began to take shape. Each update brought a deeper sense of loss and sadness. 

I knew I needed to do something to support my Filipino community. This sense of responsibility, of connection despite physical distance, is at the heart of Filipino Culture and what collective grief truly means. It reminds us that even in our most painful moments, we remain bound to one another.

Reflections from the Candlelight Vigil

Last night, as hundreds gathered at the candlelight vigil on Fraser and E 41st Ave to honour those we lost, I witnessed the profound power of communal mourning. The sun illuminated faces marked by sorrow yet determined to find solace in togetherness.

A woman beside me was wearing the Lapu Lapu festival hoodie. An elderly man stood silently, tears streaming down his face. A group of teenagers huddled together, one telling the other that they needed to be respectful by not wearing earbuds. One person walking around passing tissues. The countless number of folks who brought flowers and lit candles along the fence of the event site.

What struck me most was how strangers became supporters. People who had never met before gathered and quietly witnessed each other’s pain. Their presence communicating “I’m with you”. 

How We Can Support Each Other Through Communal Grief

As we navigate this difficult journey together, here are ways we can support one another:

Create Safe Spaces for Sharing

Grief needs expression. Whether through community forums, support groups, or informal gatherings, creating environments where people feel safe to share their emotions is essential. These spaces allow us to validate each other's experiences and remind one another that all feelings—anger, confusion, sadness, even moments of unexpected laughter—are part of the grieving process.

Honour Cultural Expressions of Grief

Our community is diverse, with many cultural approaches to mourning. Some may find comfort in prayer or religious ceremonies. Others might turn to art, music, food, or storytelling to process their pain. By honouring these different expressions, we create an inclusive healing environment.

Practical Support Matters

Grief affects our ability to handle everyday tasks. Organizing meal trains for affected families, offering childcare, or helping with transportation to memorial services are tangible ways to show support. Sometimes, the most meaningful help comes in addressing basic needs when someone is overwhelmed by loss. 

Acknowledge Different Timelines

While we grieve together, we also grieve individually. Some will need to talk immediately; others may need more time before they're ready to share. Some may appear to move forward quickly, while others carry their grief more visibly for longer periods. There is no "right way" or timeline for grief.

Connect Those Who Need Professional Support

Community support is vital, but sometimes professional help is necessary. Being familiar with counsellors, therapists, and support groups allows us to connect those who need additional assistance to appropriate resources.

Finding Meaning Together

In times of tragedy, communities often search for meaning—some way to make sense of senseless loss. While we may never fully understand why such tragedies occur, we can find purpose in how we respond:

• By strengthening community bonds

• By addressing underlying issues that may have contributed to the tragedy

• By creating memorials that honour those lost

• By supporting affected families for the long term, not just in the immediate aftermath

  
  

The Healing Power of Community Rituals

Community rituals provide powerful frameworks for processing collective grief. The candlelight vigil following the Lapu Lapu Festival tragedy demonstrated how shared ceremonial moments help us navigate overwhelming emotions together.

These rituals serve multiple purposes in our healing journey:

Connection Through Shared Experience

When we gather to light candles, share stories, or observe moments of silence, we create a tangible connection between all who participate. The synchronized actions outwardly express our emotional solidarity.

Creating Communal Memory

Public memorials, whether temporary or permanent, become sites of shared remembrance. The growing collection of flowers, notes, and mementos at the festival site has already become a powerful testament to our collective care for those lost and affected.

Moving Forward Together

The path ahead will not be straight forward. There will be anniversaries, holidays, and festivals that trigger our collective grief. There will be times when it feels as though we've taken steps backward in our healing journey.

But there is strength in moving forward together. When one stumbles, others can help them regain balance. When one feels too weary to continue, others can carry them for a while.

As we move forward from the Lapu Lapu Festival tragedy, let us do so with compassion—for ourselves and for each other. Let us create a community where grief is acknowledged, where pain is honoured, and where healing happens not in isolation but in connection.

If you need support during this difficult time, please reach out. Our counselling services are available to all community members and we are currently providing 4 sessions of pay what you can (minimum $0) to those directly affected by this tragedy *limited Client spots*. We can also connect you with additional resources as needed.

Together, we grieve. Together, we heal.